1 Samuel 2:12-17,22-25 KJVS
Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial; they knew not the Lord. [13] And the priests’ custom with the people was, that, when any man offered sacrifice, the priest’s servant came, while the flesh was in seething, with a fleshhook of three teeth in his hand; [14] And he struck it into the pan, or kettle, or caldron, or pot; all that the fleshhook brought up the priest took for himself. So they did in Shiloh unto all the Israelites that came thither. [15] Also before they burnt the fat, the priest’s servant came, and said to the man that sacrificed, Give flesh to roast for the priest; for he will not have sodden flesh of thee, but raw. [16] And if any man said unto him, Let them not fail to burn the fat presently, and then take as much as thy soul desireth; then he would answer him, Nay ; but thou shalt give it me now: and if not, I will take it by force. [17] Wherefore the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord : for men abhorred the offering of the Lord. [22] Now Eli was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. [23] And he said unto them, Why do ye such things? for I hear of your evil dealings by all this people. [24] Nay, my sons; for it is no good report that I hear: ye make the Lord’s people to transgress. [25] If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him: but if a man sin against the Lord, who shall intreat for him? Notwithstanding they hearkened not unto the voice of their father, because the Lord would slay them.
THREE FOUNDATIONAL GOALS OF PARENTING
Goal #1: To Reproduce the Nature of the Parent in the Child
Goal #2: To Reproduce the Character of the Parent in the Child
Goal #3: To Reproduce the Behavior of the Parent in the Child
John 5:19 KJVS
Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.
John 10:30 KJVS
I and my Father are one.
John 14:9-11 KJVS
Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Shew us the Father? [10] Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works. [11] Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works’ sake.
INEFFECTIVE PARENTING STYLES
Helicopter Parents
Some parents think that love means revolving their lives around their children. They are helicopter parents. They hover over and then rescue their children whenever trouble arises. They’re forever running lunches, permission slips, band instruments, and homework assignments to school.
Drill Sergeant Parents
Other parents are like drill sergeants. These, too, love their children. They feel that the more they bark and the more they control, the better their kids will be in the long run.
When drill sergeant parents talk to children, their words are often filled with put-downs and I-told-you-so’s. These parents are into power! If children don’t do what they’re told, drill sergeant parents are going to — doggone it all — make them do it.
EFFECTIVE PARENTING STYLE
The Consultant Parent
As children grow, they move from being concrete thinkers to being abstract thinkers when they are teens. Children need thoughtful guidance and firm, enforceable limits. We set those limits based on the safety of the child and how the child’s behavior affects others. Then we must maintain those limits to help children understand that they are responsible for their actions and will suffer reasonable consequences for actions
GOD’S ’s MANDATE TO PARENTS
– Purpose; Responsibility; Authority; Accountability.
· God calls every person to live under authority – preference to correction.
· He has invested authority in people – family, church, government, business.
· Romans 13:1-2 – “Let every soul be subject to authorities”.
Subject = lupotasso = to position yourself in place of yielding and cooperation with one in authority to work together for common purpose.
· Parents have authority because God calls you to be an authority in a child’s life.
e.g. Genesis 18:19 – “I have chosen Abraham, I will know him that he will command his children and household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord”.
e.g. Deuteronomy 6:4-6 – “The great commandment – love Lord God teach children”.
e.g. Ephesians 6:4 – “Do not provoke children – bring them up in the nature of the Lord”.
· Parents have the authority to act on behalf of God – fulfill his directions.
· Parents have the responsibility to fulfill as God’s representatives.
· God defines the task – you act on his behalf.
· You are a person under authority – as well as the child – same Lord but different roles.
· Because God has given responsibility – you don’t need the child’s permission to act.
· You are in charge – you have the responsibility – Shepherd child.
· Proverbs 22:6 – “ Train up the child in the way he should go”.
· Train = to narrow, rub the palate, discipline => direction
· You are God’s agent to shape the child’s heart attitudes and behaviour.
· Discipline is an issue of honoring God and character formation communicate and Rod of the Lord.
– no place for anger